| Shy people may feel like
they are alone, but they are part of a growing group of
Americans who may be too timid to even go out to eat. According
to Dr. Leonard Austin, assistant professor at Black Hills
State University, an increasing amount of our population
suffers from shyness. "It is a debilitating
intrapersonal problem that alters children's and adults'
behavior to such an extent that it can become a social
phobia for them," Austin added.
Presenting his findings at the 2nd Annual Black Hills
Research Symposium at Black Hills State University,
Austin drew on his own research and that of recent
Canadian studies to reveal that eight percent of the
population is shy, while previous studies only found
about one or two percent to be painfully shy. “That
is a significant increase," said Austin. The work of
famous researcher Philip Zimbardo agrees with Austin.
Zimbardo, the creator of the Shyness Clinic in California
said, "shyness is an insidious personal problem that
is reaching epidemic proportions."
Austin, who has been studying shyness in elementary
school children and in his BHSU college students, said
"It has been reported that nationwide 11 percent of
our elementary school children experience shyness to the
extent that it can be classified as "Communication
Apprehension"- a certifiable disorder, while an
additional 20 percent may experience enough anxiety over
being shy that they warrant some sort of help outside the
family." He said children may experience a host of
emotions, from feeling mildly anxious to dreadful fear.
Their anxiety may express itself in physical form; tense
throat, increased heart rate, sweating, downward gaze,
nervousness, stammering, etc. "New social
situations produce anxiety; a major uncomfortableness
which can be all-consuming to a child or adult, even
terrifying," Austin said. "For those who have
not experienced it, it is a very disconcerting
feeling."
Austin said that underneath shyness is an aloneness
and loneliness which is painful. The interesting part is
that there is a longing on the part of the shy person to
be able to reach out to others, to connect, to feel
comfortable. He says one person has captured the essence
of severe shyness: "I want to feel included, and
even though people tell me that others are not looking at
me, I still swear everyone in the place is watching me,
and judging me."
Austin, an assistant professor in the College of
Education, reports that excessive shyness is twice as
common in women than in men. He believes that it may be
"due to society's inculturation of women away from
assertiveness and being publicly outspoken," but he
admits that the evidence is inconclusive on this point.
Also in his research Austin found that people with
extreme shyness are more likely to be those with lower
incomes and have little or no college training.
While more than half of the general population admits
to fearing public speaking in front of a large group, it
is the extremely shy person who will avoid almost any
situation which might place him or her under such an
intense spotlight. Being singled out is a shy person's
worse nightmare. Dr. Murray Stein, a psychiatrist who
specializes in anxiety disorders at Winnipeg's St.
Boniface Hospital, said shy people often avoid talking to
their workmates, going out to lunch, or going on dates.
They may also shy away from college settings because
"the thought of presenting at seminars is
unthinkable," Stein said.
Treatment of shy students and adults has historically
involved counseling and medications, but Austin believes
that if shyness (sometimes called "social
phobia" or "communications apprehension")
is addressed early in children's lives that many of them
can have an adulthood free of interference; so they can
more openly achieve professional and interpersonal goals,
and live lives free of medication.
Therefore, Austin, who teaches child growth and
development courses at BHSU, says parents should be on
the alert to the following warning signs during early
childhood: 1) difficulty in engaging in age-appropriate
conversations, 2) inability to make or keep friends, 3)
obvious anxiety (fearful responses to social
interactions), 4) afraid of groups, 5) fear of new
situations, and 6) angry outbursts and/or depressed,
withdrawn behaviors.
How is treatment to be done? Austin believes it is
best accomplished by challenging maladaptive thoughts and
beliefs, and learning new behaviors. He said,
"Shyness is a learned behavior, and therefore can be
unlearned." He recommends that parents remember that
shyness "is not a permanent personality trait, but a
term that should be used to describe a specific behavior.
Don't label your children as shy," he warns,
"but teach them how to overcome anxious moments,
rather than letting it control them." He also
suggests: 1) talk to your children about their fears,
offering them alternative behaviors when they are
confronted with stressful activities; 2) rehearse with
them what they will say or do in upcoming frightening
situations; 3) reduce stress in the home by fostering a
warm and easy-going environment; 4) allow them to have
friends over to spend the night; and 5) play
"charades" at home.
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| Shyness was one of the presentation
topics at the Black Hills Symposium held recently
at Black Hills State University. Dr Leonard
Austin presented his research on shyness with
help from student assistant Brooke Aker. Faculty
and students made presentations and displayed
poster boards featuring their research topics at
the one-day symposium. Above all, do
not force your child into highly stressful
situations against their will, he says. Many
parents think that by forcing children to perform
in public they will reduce their child's fear of
speaking in front of people." That is
dangerous thinking, according to Austin.
"Children need to be desensitized slowly to
situations that frighten them. To put a young
child in a highly volatile and emotional state is
to invite trauma into their lives. Trauma
actually rewires the brain so that in future
instances the child will be hyper aware and
"on alert" to any situation that will
cause them to be at the center of attention. Do
not take the sink or swim approach with
children," Austin said.
Parents also can have the mistaken attitude
of, "I'll just leave them aIone and they'll
grow out of it." Austin says this too is
faulty thinking, for children do not tend to grow
out of shyness, and if their children are not
part of a peer group, especially during
adolescence, those children are at risk of having
increased social problems."
Austin also believes that there is a warning
to parents to be found in a 1984 research study
by Bond. "Bond's interesting research found
that many extremely shy children were overly
criticized by parents during the early language
development stage of their lives. Parents were
critical of their children's verbal performance
when their children were first learning to speak.
As a result the children learned to expect
negative reactions from others, and subsequently
learned to avoid conversations by keeping
quiet."
Other reasons that may produce shyness vary.
Professionals disagree. Some, like Jerome Kagan,
Ph.D., a leading shyness researcher and professor
of psychology at Harvard University in Cambridge,
Mass., believes that "Shyness is often a
symptom of a cautious temperament, which is
hereditary, like blue eyes and curly hair."
Kagan believes some people are simply born to be
shy. In agreement are counselors at the Palo Alto
Shyness clinic which hold that shyness strongly
follows a family history, is an inherited trait,
but is something that can be conquered, or at
least reduced to the point where it is not
bothersome.
But others, like Austin disagree. He quotes
the work of Nancy Wesson, Ph.D., and his own
research with Black Hills State University
students to prove shyness can be abated. Wesson,
who works with shy children and adults in
California, found that shyness is "a set of
learned behaviors that interfere with relating to
people or having successful relationships. These
behaviors can be replaced by more effective
behavior and a shy person can learn to relax in
social situations." Wesson said the best way
to help shy people comes through having them take
"baby steps" toward improving their
social contact with others, and by practicing new
social behaviors in emotionally safe public
places. She teaches shy people how to meet new
people, talk casually, and start and sustain a
conversation. Since shyness can be unlearned, she
believes newly learned behaviors will eventually
lessen the anxiousness which shy people feel in
social situations.
Austin's own work with preservice teachers at
BHSU shows that students can slowly move from
being highly timid to doing presentations before
entire college classes. One student, Brooke Aker,
agrees, “I would classify myself as being
shy when I entered college. But as I worked in
groups, was allowed to contribute from my seat in
classes, and was not forced to talk alone in
front of a whole class, I became more comfortable
in those situations. Recently I have progressed
to doing short presentations in some of my
classes and found that if I use technology when I
present, then the center of attention isn't
always on me. So I feel like l am gaining more
confidence in front of people."
Austin says he plans to continue his research
into shyness, and is now focusing on the effects
it has on college students' performance,
especially students at BHSU who are prospective
teachers.
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